Monday Morning

I am in desperate need of some retail therapy. Jack has so very little to wear (shocking, I know!) and I'm feeling bummed about the upcoming holiday season and the uncertainty of our financial state. The frequent returns, more frequent castings, have us spiraling. To top it off, our car battery died yesterday. First a new tire, then a new gold-rimmed spare (insert sarcasm), and now the battery. I don't dare ask, "What next?"

The upside of all this is that this little boy is such a gift. I typed his name today, something I do almost every day, and my heart leapt. I know that sounds contrived, but it's true. I wrote to John, "Jack has a fever," and it just happened again. Jack is such a simple word to write, but what you may not realize is that "Jack" has been in my heart and in my mind for almost a decade. I longed for a little boy, I imagined with blonde hair and blue eyes, that we would call "Jack." I longed for him for what seems like an eternity. He was my son, and was in my dreams and thoughts years before he was a reality. To have him here is surreal. Sometimes I have to step back and look at my life and I am still in awe that we have our boy. How lucky are we to have four beautiful, healthy little girls, and this sweet, sweet prince? To hear them giggle with joy, squeal with delight when he accomplishes something new. To share in our tears and heartbreak when he is hurt. He is such a blessing.

And, yes, if you caught that note earlier - he is sick - again. We are quarantining ourselves once again in preparation for casting. This is the second cold and cough he's had in the last month and it settles so deeply in his chest. I don't know if it is related to the casting or not, but he seems to get it when no one else does. We can't risk any sort of cold or respiratory illness under general anesthesia, so we'll be staying close to home. I'm sure that I will go mad from cabin fever, but he is worth every second of it.

Back to the beginning, I am in need of some retail therapy and I splurged and bought myself two new songs to listen to in the car. The monotony of the same old playlists on our ipod on the highway is enough to drive us all crazy. So, with the help of a dear friend, I found this song which I simply must share with you. Her name is Ingrid Michaelson and she is humble and cool and funky and everything indie folks should be. This tune reminds me of the poppy sounds that we were so addicted to in highschool, but with an edge of adult life. It reminds me of the newness of a relationship, with the dedication of an 11 year marriage - confirming that we are in this together, through good and bad, in sickness and in health.




And on that "note" I bid adieu.