Sunday, November 04, 2007

You have no idea...

I had a comment left on this blog by someone we don't know, who left it anonymous.

The person said, in part:
It worries me that you are still locked in the initial grief of your son’s diagnosis. You are victimizing him and your daughters. You need to get a grip and find the important things in life. Function as normally as humanly possible. I am praying that you are able to step back and rationally assess your situation and find a way to move forward in a way that is healthy for every single member of your family – including yourself and your marriage.

HOW DARE YOU!!!!!!!!!

You should be ashamed of yourself, projecting those assumptions into my life, into our family. You said your nephew had medical issues, not your SON - you have NO idea how I "should" respond to this or how YOU would. It has been FOUR MONTHS since Jack was diagnosed. Do you know how YOU would react? No. Do my personal thoughts, feelings, and emotions mean that I sit around the house crying all day?? NO. I am not "victimizing him and my daughters" - you don't know me, you don't know my daughters, you don't know my son. I DO function as normal as humanly possible. I write this blog to get my feelings out and share Jack's progress. GET A GRIP?? I'm disgusted by your comments, your generalizations, your lack of sensitivity, your lack of understanding. Knowing a relative who is in an entirely different situation does not give you the right to say ANYTHING about my family or how I handle things. My children are beautiful, well-adjusted children, but I don't have to tell the people who KNOW us that because they SEE it.

Please, don't waste your time or mine with this blog anymore.


Tracey said...

sending blessings to your family, sandi. what was the old adage about walking a mile in someone's shoes? i think it applies here, yes?


lots of love to you and yours...

Gwen said...

I have to admit that I am worried about your planned isolation for the forseeable future. I'm worried about your sanity but only because *I* would go nutso, lol. I worry about 4 bored little girls and the effects of that on your sanity too. On the flip side, I totally understand your thoughts. I recognize how you've arrived at your conclusions, I understand your fears, and most importantly I recognize the weight you shoulder and the ultimate decision only you can make.

In the end, you worry about Jack. But that means *I* and your friends get to worry about you ;). Sound fair? Please don't hesitate to ask for whatever it is that might help you through the forseeable months of quarantining yourself. I support you. Being home could be fun anyway! Think of all the stress, travel, drama, expectations, etc that you'll avoid!

Perhaps you can take that comment for it's intent and move on. Sensitivity and eloquence are not everyone's strong suit kwim?

Vicki said...

Ignore ignorance. They are not worth the time of day.

I'm looking SO forward to Wednesday! The only downer is missing Jack, John and you!

I am also anxious to receive a 'special' package in the mail this week! hehe!

See you then!

Anonymous said...

I can't believe someone made such ignorant comments. I am glad you have a place to vent your feelings and work through them. THAT sounds healthy to me, not skating by and pretending there is nothing wrong. Anyone that "knows" you, knows that you ADORE your kids!

Lee Ann :)

LaRita said...

It's amazing that someone with a NEPHEW with health problems thinks she has a clue as to what you're going through. As JACK'S aunt, I can't even begin to imagine what this is like for you, John, the girls, or Jack -- and I'm AROUND you guys and talk to you and John regularly.

From the perspective of someone whose immune system is compromised because of MS, I can 100% understand and tell you first hand that you should do everything possible to keep Jack and the girls from getting sick. You're all homebodies for the most part - and while I know cabin fever sets in every now and then - you'll be FINE staying home most of the winter. You're family-focused, and your world basically exists with your immediate family - why someone would consider this a PROBLEM, I can't imagine. Staying away from large family functions (especially those in which people really don't GET that if your kid has a COLD, you might risk Jack getting a sickness that your family could pass around for weeks, if not months - AND interfere with his casting and lead to serious problems like pneunomia, etc.) is the SMARTEST choice you can make. Whoever that person was, she is obviously bitter and selfish to make such hateful comments - and to a stranger, no less! - but she is no one to you, so try not to give her another thought. Plus, it's not like you're going to cease communication with the entire outside world! Sheesh! People need to GET LIVES.

Love you all!

Erin said...

I was once told the same thing. We had known my daughter's issues for less then a year I think. The woman who said it has a daughter with systemic lupus. The daughter is 15ish and she was diagnosed years ago.

I told her she has had years to accept her older daughter's diagnosis. I have had a short period of time to accept my daughter's daughter was a couple years old at the time.

I also told her that both girls had lifelong disabilities however her daughter goes into remission whereas my daughter does not and we still hadn't learned everything about my daughter's issues.

Some people are ignorant.

I spy



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