Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Meeting Dr. D tomorrow

I've been pushing this out of my head time and time again, but it's really hit me this afternoon. We meet the new doctor (local) tomorrow at 9 AM to discuss bracing and, basically, Jack's future. This is a decision that will impact him for the rest of his life and I'm so nervous about making the wrong choice.

The head of the Infantile Scoliosis Outreach Program thinks Jack could still benefit from casting. The doctor doesn't. Hard to hear that and not know what to do and where to go, yk?

I have this nagging in the back of my mind that this has worked up until now and could continue to work. But, who am I to say?

As much as I want to chop this stupid cast off him and never look back, once we stop casting, that's it - no real chance of improvement and he'll have to live with this for as long as he's growing - until surgery/surgeries are an option. So, that weighs heavily on my mind. I want this to bring him down to a 0. I want a cure, damnit. We've done everything right - everything they said. We've driven miles and miles, dealt with no sleep, had countless NPO nights, and I'm just sick that it's the end of the road. Nine and a half months of this crap. I want to be finished - but I want him to be healed and whole and well.

Anyway - that's my state this afternoon. I'll update tomorrow as soon as I know what the new doctor thinks. He's doing an official training symposium here (like the one we attended when Jack was first casted) - and I should be thrilled that Jack's curve is not in vain - that we've done something good for our community by advocating for this and bringing it to St. Louis. But, really, I want to be selfish for Jack today and just say it's not fair.

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